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An Indian walks into a New York City bank and asks to see the loan officer. He says he is going to Europe on
business for two weeks and Needs to borrow $5,000. The bank officer says the bank will need some kind of security
for such a loan, so the man hands over the keys of a new Rolls Royce parked on the street in front of the bank.
Everything is checked out, and the bank agrees to accept the car as collateral for the loan. An employee drives the
Rolls into the bank's underground garage and parks it there. Two weeks later, the man returns, repays the $5,000
and the interest, which comes to $15.41. The loan officer says, "We are very happy to have had your business, and
this transaction has worked out very nicely, but we are little puzzled. While you were away, we checked you out
and found that u are a multimillionaire. What puzzles us is why would you bother to borrow just $5,000?" The
Indian replied,"Where else in New York can I park my car for two weeks for 15 bucks?"
"Indians don't do different things but they do things differently."
Interesting article forwarded by someone from Infosys.A bit long but good. Written by Infosys Guys: 1. What is the beautiful girl called in Infosys? A. Visitor. 2. What happens when all the Infosys girls go on a trip to moon? A. Average beauty of the earth increases 3. What happens when hundred new girls join? A. Average beauty of Infosys further decreases. 4. What happens when a Infosys girl has very malignant brain tumor? A. She will get her knee operated. 5. What happens when two Infosys girls meet generally at fashion show? A. They will discuss the cause of the two smaller bugs in software. 6. What happens when two Infosys girls compete for same guy? A. He will commit suicide. Quote: ~~~~~ Generally 99.9999% of the girls in the world are beautiful, rest are in Infosys Written by Infosys Girls: ------------------------- Dear Infoscion guys, We were motivated to compile this after coming across the mail "about girls".after all, a good gesture demands a good gesture in return! 1. what is it when an Infosys-guy is wearing a black t-shirt? -It's just a white t-shirt , badly in need of a good washing. 2. What happens when a dirty, smelly sheep and an Infoscion guys(Infosys-guy) enter a room together? -the sheep runs out. 3. Where does an Infoscion guys take his girl on the 1st date? -Obviously, to the Infosys library. 4.what do you call a guy wearing shoes in Infosys? -a visitor. Quote: ~~~~~~ 0.0001% of the garbage on earth is outside Infosys and the remaining 99.9999% is in Infosys. Moral of this debate : " EITHER GIRL OR GUY, STAY AWAY FROM INFOSYS".
Once a Cow, Elephant & a Donkey were debating on who is the greatest among the three. So here goes the conversation. Cow: I give 50 liters of milk every day and that's why im the greatest. Elephant: I eat 100 Kg of sugarcane daily and that's why I am the greatest!! scroll down scroll down Hellooooooo!!!!!! What are you waiting for?!?!?!? It's your turn to Speak up.
1. "Sometimes when I reflect back on all the beer I drink I feel shamed. Then I look into the glass and think about
the workers in the brewery and all of their hopes and dreams. If I didn't drink this beer, they might be out of
work and their dreams would be shattered." Then I say to myself, "It is better that I drink this beer and let
their dreams come true than be selfish and worry about my liver."
2. "When I read about the evils of drinking, I gave up reading."
WARNING: The consumption of alcohol may lead you to think people are laughing with you.
3. "24 hours in a day, 24 beers in a case. Coincidence? I think not."
WARNING: The consumption of alcohol may cause you to think you can sing.
4. "When we drink, we get drunk. When we get drunk, we fall asleep. When we fall asleep, we commit no sin. When we
commit no sin, we go to heaven. So, let's all get drunk and go to heaven!"
WARNING: The consumption of alcohol may cause pregnancy.
5. And The Best Reason
"Well you see, it's like this... A herd of buffalo can only move as fast as the slowest buffalo. And when the
herd is hunted,it is the slowest and weakest ones at the back that are killed first This natural selection is
good for the herd as a whole, because the general speed and health of the whole group keeps improving by the
regular killing of the weakest members. In much the same way, the human brain can only operate as fast as the
slowest brain cells. Excessive intake of alcohol, as we know, kills brain cells. But naturally, it attacks the
slowest and weakest brain cells first. In this way, regular consumption of beer eliminates the weaker brain cells,
making the brain a faster and more efficient machine. That's why you always feel smarter after a few beers."
An absolutely Brilliant Joke, ENJOY !!! A Woman was out golfing one day when she hit the ball into the woods. She went into the woods to look for it and found a frog in a trap. The frog said to her, "If you release me from this trap, I will grant you three wishes." The woman freed the frog, and the frog said, "Thank you, but I failed to mention that there was a condition to your wishes. Whatever you wish for, your husband will get times ten!" The woman said,"That's okay." For her first wish, she wanted to be the most beautiful woman in the world. The frog warned her, "You do realise that this wish will also make your husband the most handsome man in the world, an Adonis whom women will flock to". The woman replied, "That's okay, because I will be the most beautiful Woman and he will have eyes only for me. "So, KAZAM-she's the most beautiful Woman in the world! For her second wish, she wanted to be the richest woman in the world. The frog said, "That will make your husband the richest man in the world. And he will be ten times richer than you. " The woman said, "That's okay, because what's mine is his and what's his is mine." So, KAZAM-she's the richest woman in the world! The frog then inquired about her third wish, and she answered, "I'd like a mild heart attack." Moral of the story: Women are clever. Don't mess with them. Attention female readers: This is the end of the joke for you. Stop here and continue feeling good. Male readers: Please scroll down. . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . The man had a heart attack ten times milder than his wife!!! Moral of the story: Women are really dumb but think they're really smart. Let them continue to think that way and just enjoy the show If you are a woman and are still reading this; it only goes to show that women never listen!!! Forward this to all the guys for a good laugh, and to all the ladies who have a good sense of humour.
Ever wondered how a HR Manager would write a love
Letter to his girl friend. It's here:
To,
Juliet
Sub: Offer of love!
Ref: Meeting in coffee shop
Dearest Ms Juliet,
I am pleased to inform you that I have fallen in Love with you since the 14th of October (Saturday).
With reference to the meeting held between us on the 13th of Oct. at 1400 hrs, would like to present
myself as a prospective lover.
Our love affair would be on probation for a period of three months and depending on compatibility, would
be made permanent. Of course, upon completion of probation, there will be continuous on the job training and
performance appraisal schemes leading up to promotion from lover to spouse.
The expenses incurred for coffee and entertainment would initially be shared equally between us. Later,
based on your performance might take up a larger share of the expenses. However I am broadminded enough to be
taken care of, on your expense account.
I request you to kindly respond within 30 days of receiving further notice and I shall be considering
someone else.
I would be happy, if you could forward this letter to your sister, if you do not wish to take up this offer.
Wish you all the best!
Thanking you in anticipation,
Yours sincerely,
HR Manager
A husband wrote a letter: "My Dear Wife, You will surely understand that I have certain needs that your 54 year old body can no longer supply. I am very happy with you and I value you as a good wife. Therefore after reading this letter, I hope that you will not wrongly interpret the fact that I will be spending the evening with my 18 year old secretary at the Comfort Inn Hotel. Please don't be perturbed - I shall be back home before midnight." When he came home, he found the following letter on the dining room table: "My Dear Husband, I received your letter and thank you for your honesty. I would like to take this opportunity to remind you that you are also 54 years old. At the same time I would like to inform you that while you read this, I will be at the Hotel Fiesta with Michael, my tennis coach who, like your secretary,is also 18 years old. As a successful businessman and with your excellent knowledge of math, you will understand that we are in the same situation,although with one small difference: 18 goes into 54 a lot more times than 54 goes into 18. Therefore, I will not be back before lunch time tomorrow."
Since the wife is eight months into her pregnancy, the husband has to sleep on the floor to avoid any regrettable mistake, which might happen pretty easily, for he has been desperate for quite a while now... Just before lying down on the bed, she glances at him and sees the poor guy curls up on the floor, eyes stare widely into the empty air, filled with hopeless desire... Feeling sorry for her husband, she opens the top drawer of the cabinet, takes out a fifty dollar bill, and gives it to him, "Awww, my honey is so depressed... here, take this and go to the woman next door, she will let you sleep with her tonight... and remember that this happens only once... ok?... don't think about it again." The husband rolls his eyes in disbelief, but afraid that she may change her mind, he grabs the money and leaves quickly. A few minutes later,he returns, hands the bill back to the wife and says with much disappointment, "She said this is not enough, she wants sixty." The wife's face slowly turns red with anger, "Damn that bitch... when she was pregnant and her husband came over here...I only charged him fifty.
This particular joke won an award for the best joke in a competition organized in Britain and this joke was sent by an Indian Banta Strikes Back!!! Banta Singh walks into a bar in Ludhiana & orders three glasses of Beer and sits in the back of the room, drinking a sip out of each one in turn. When he finishes them, he comes back to the bar and orders three more. The bartender asks him, "You know, beer goes flat after I fill it in the glass; it would taste better if you bought one at a time." Banta Singh replies, "Well, you see, I have two brothers. One is in Dubai, the other in Canada, and I'm here in Ludhiana. When they left home, we promised that we'd drink this way to remember the days when we drank together." The bartender admits that this is a nice custom, and leaves it there. Banta Singh becomes a regular in the bar, and always drinks the sameway. He orders three Beers and drinks them in turn. One day, he comes in and orders only two Beers. All the other regulars notice and fall silent. When he comes back to the bar for the second round, the bartender says," I don't want to intrude on your grief, but I wanted to offer my condolences on your great loss." Banta Singh looks confused for a moment, then alight dawns in his eye and he laughs. "Oh, no," he, says, "Everyone's fine - both my brothers are alive" . "Only thing is ---- I just quit drinking"!!!!!!